Friday, July 19, 2013

Win Some, Lose Some

For a lot of people, potty training is difficult.  I always have said that I earned good karma by suffering through Norah's terrible eating and sleeping for two plus years, because she was the easiest kid to potty train.  Of all times.  Literally, I put her in underwear over one weekend and she started going in the potty.  I think in her whole life she's had a total of five pee accidents.  Never a poop accident.  NEVER A POOP ACCIDENT, people.  

I know there is no way lightening will strike twice, so I have been dreading this stage with Lou. He's an incredibly smart kid.  He's also an incredibly stubborn kid who seems to take great delight in making my head explode.  We have had the little potty set up in his bathroom for months now.  Every night I ask if he wants to use it before his bath and every night he says no.  Okay, no biggie.  We won't get serious about it for another couple of months, right now it's all about the test and see.  He knows that if he pees successfully he can get an m&m.  That doesn't seem to be much motivation.  He will briefly sit, announce, "I peed! Where my m&m?" But, alas there never seems to actually be any pee.

Last night BVZ got home at about 7:30 (hooray!) and he and Norah immediately went into the pool, so Lou and I were on our own.  We played upstairs for a bit and then it was bath time.  I asked if he wanted to try and pee.  No.  I offered an m&m for a pee.  He sat, jumped up, announced his success. But, no pee.  Then I decided to try something new.  Knowing that I had an unopened package of hot wheels cars downstairs I told him that if he peed on the potty he could have a new car.

He thought about it.

And thought some more.

And then said, "two cars."  

I said sure and he sat his skinny little butt on the potty and peed. Just like that.  So, just as I expected, he is fully capable of doing it.  He just needs the right motivation.  I made a big deal about it and ran downstairs to get the cars.  His moment of triumph:

He got in the tub and started to swim around and then I noticed the thing that every parent of small children dreads....the bathtub floaters.  I couldn't believe after that moment of triumph he freaking pooped in the tub.  Ugh.  It was a ton of itty bitty tiny pieces.  Ugh times a million.  He got pulled out along with every toy, the tub got scrubbed, the toys got banished, and I may or may not have gagged a few times.  The kid himself also got wiped up and (twenty minutes later) got stuck back in the bath.  

But, it still, ahem.  Was stinky.  I couldn't figure out the source until I went to get new towels and I saw it.  I SAW IT.  And it was a giant turd on the floor RIGHT NEXT TO THE FREAKING POTTY.* My delightful bundle of joy peed in the potty to get two cars, then waited for me to leave the room, and took a dump on my floor.

Lou may have won the battle, but I will win the war.  I just have to find the right Hot Wheels.

(*Yes, I took a picture of the turd.  Yes, I texted it to my sisters.  Yes, I refrained from texting it to anyone else-you're welcome MS and AB-and/or posting here.  I do have some boundaries.) 


Tucker said...

Show the turd! Ha!

Tucker said...

Show the turd! Ha!

JAMS' HOUSE said...

"kid who seems to take great delight in making my head explode" - i feel you.

Not looking forward to this with B.

Bonnie said...

This is all extremely terrifying.

aileen said...

What a negotiator! He is a force to reckon with for sure!

Isabelle Baeck said...

Wow. Just wow. Can you get him in law school now?