Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Sunday night/Monday morning, Lou spiked a very high fever.  He was super sick and generally miserable, so I decided to take him to the pediatrician to rule out an ear infection.  He slept on and off all morning, Norah and I watched a movie, and then I attempted to get us all ready to get out of the house.  I was in my bathroom getting ready when I happened to glance in the bathtub.  And saw this. 

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  Of course I lost my shit.  Lou was in his crib and I made Norah stand on my bed while I panicked.  It was furiously trying to climb up the side of the tub but wasn't having much luck.  We don't keep cleaning products in the bathroom (everything is up on a high shelf in the laundry room), so I turned on the hot water and poured in an entire bottle of hand soap.

Death by bubble bath.

It took a while but the thing finally stopped moving.  It was huge.  With an orange/red head and 12 million little legs.  Oh yeah and ENORMOUS pincers.  Internet research later revealed that it was a Sonoran Desert centipede.  When it bites it injects a shit ton of venom, which is painful (but not deadly).  I am still not sure how it 1) got in the house and/or 2) got in the bathtub, I am trying very hard NOT to think about it..

The carcass was too big to go down the drain and although I was certain it was dead, I was way too freaked out to do anything about it.  So, I did what any rational, well educated, thirty-six-year-old mother of two would do.  I called my mom and asked her to please come over and dispose of the body.  And she did.  

I love living in Texas.  

Lou does not have an ear infection, but he sure is sick.  Day two of 104'ish degree fever, no eating, sicko diapers, general malaise and non-stop crying.  I will take that over a centipede any day.

ETA: Of course Lou got weighed at the doctor's office.  When he was sitting on the scale the numbers flashed 24 lbs, 3 ozs and I thought, hot damn!  That's awesome.  But then the nurse noticed that Norah had her hand on the scale.  He really only weighs a measly 20 lbs., 6 ozs.  That's fifth percentile for weight, folks.  I would be concerned except for the fact that he drinks a gallon and a half of whole milk a week, eats more than Norah and I put together, and is in the 75th percentile for height.  And don't forget those giant feet.  So what if he is currently wearing 6-12 month shorts that I have to roll at the waist so that they don't fall down?  Kid can scale a staircase is 3.5 seconds and runs faster than I do.  I think he'll be alright.  


Natalie said...

My friend Marva lives in Texas. Mansfield, I think. She put on facebook this week that she STEPPED ON A SNAKE IN HER GARAGE. Then she bashed its head in with an axe. Now this centipede with it's vampire fangs in your tub. While I would love to come visit all of you in thanks. Too much wildlife in your homes.

I hope Lou is on the mend real soon. It sounds like a dreadful illness for all of you. But thanks for cheering me up with his percentile!

k-dog studios said...

that picture of lou makes me so sad. i hope he's feeling better.

Maryellen said...

Centipedes are soooooooooooo creepy. I love how you killed it though. I too kill bugs through poision. Smashing them would totally freak me out.

I hope Lou is feeling better.