Sunday night/Monday morning, Lou spiked a very high fever. He was super sick and generally miserable, so I decided to take him to the pediatrician to rule out an ear infection. He slept on and off all morning, Norah and I watched a movie, and then I attempted to get us all ready to get out of the house. I was in my bathroom getting ready when I happened to glance in the bathtub. And saw this.
Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Of course I lost my shit. Lou was in his crib and I made Norah stand on my bed while I panicked. It was furiously trying to climb up the side of the tub but wasn't having much luck. We don't keep cleaning products in the bathroom (everything is up on a high shelf in the laundry room), so I turned on the hot water and poured in an entire bottle of hand soap.
Death by bubble bath.
It took a while but the thing finally stopped moving. It was huge. With an orange/red head and 12 million little legs. Oh yeah and ENORMOUS pincers. Internet research later revealed that it was a Sonoran Desert centipede. When it bites it injects a shit ton of venom, which is painful (but not deadly). I am still not sure how it 1) got in the house and/or 2) got in the bathtub, I am trying very hard NOT to think about it..
The carcass was too big to go down the drain and although I was certain it was dead, I was way too freaked out to do anything about it. So, I did what any rational, well educated, thirty-six-year-old mother of two would do. I called my mom and asked her to please come over and dispose of the body. And she did.
I love living in Texas.
Lou does not have an ear infection, but he sure is sick. Day two of 104'ish degree fever, no eating, sicko diapers, general malaise and non-stop crying. I will take that over a centipede any day.
ETA: Of course Lou got weighed at the doctor's office. When he was sitting on the scale the numbers flashed 24 lbs, 3 ozs and I thought, hot damn! That's awesome. But then the nurse noticed that Norah had her hand on the scale. He really only weighs a measly 20 lbs., 6 ozs. That's fifth percentile for weight, folks. I would be concerned except for the fact that he drinks a gallon and a half of whole milk a week, eats more than Norah and I put together, and is in the 75th percentile for height. And don't forget those giant feet. So what if he is currently wearing 6-12 month shorts that I have to roll at the waist so that they don't fall down? Kid can scale a staircase is 3.5 seconds and runs faster than I do. I think he'll be alright.