Louis Eats: An Update

When we had Louis' one week appointment his pediatrician said that in her experience, most babies get the hang of nursing by a month old. And if they still don't have it by then, chances are they aren't going to learn because they will be so used to the bottle they will have no incentive to try. As his one month birthday came and went and he still didn't get it we figured this would be the case for him. She was great and encouraged me to keep trying if I wanted to, but also gave me "permission" to stop if I needed someone to tell me that choice was also okay.

I wasn't ready to stop pumping, but I was definitely ready to stop trying the maddening process of trying to get him to latch, and so I did. For the next 10 days or so I didn't even give him the option of trying to nurse and instead we just did bottles. At that same one month mark, Bubby left and I went from pumping 5 or 6 times a day to 3 or 4 times a day. And then 2 or 3. And then 2. And the amount I was able to pump in those 2 sessions took a nose dive. I went from producing well over half of his food to about 10% (granted, he has started to eat a lot more, but still).

We decided that after my 6 week OB appointment I would be done pumping. I hated it, I was producing almost nothing, and it took time away from when I could be sleeping (call me selfish, I can take it, but remember I am trying to stave off the CRAZIES, people). I have to admit, part of my wanting to wait until after my appointment was so that I could tell my OB (remember, she's the one who pumped in the CAR. While DRIVING), that I was still nursing. Totally lame I know, but I am super sensitive about being judged regarding this particular topic. Anyway, my appointment came and went and I chickened out about stopping. Then I said I would stop at 7 weeks, and so last Monday I packed up the pump. Then I unpacked it. Then I packed it away again.

Then I tried to see if Louie would latch. And goddamn it. He did. This kid is killing me. So, since Monday he's been nursing. His latch isn't great, and it kind of hurts. There isn't enough to satisfy him completely, so I have been topping him off with a few ounces in a bottle every time. There are times when he is really hungry (like in the middle of the night), and he won't even entertain the thought of nursing. He refuses one side completely, so let's not even talk about how my poor body is going to look when all of this is said and done.

I am torn between working hard to ramp up my supply (herbal supplements, pumping, etc.) and just sticking with the status quo and figuring what he gets is better than nothing. I admit, I love the freedom of formula. But that kind of makes me feel like an asshole, because this should be more about Lou than it is about me. We'll see how it goes this week and then make a decision from there. It's a day to day thing, for sure.

Regardless, he seems no worse for the wear.