Moms Must Have Nine Lives

Because I died a little 3 times this week (and it is only Wednesday).

Monday:

Norah woke up from her nap and I was feeding her some apples when I noticed that her soft spot was pulsating like a heart beat or something. You may not know this about me, but I have a serious phobia of the soft spot. I am 32 years old and will not do a headstand for fear that I might still have one lurking around in there somewhere. You can only imagine how I feel about Norah's. So, I am not exaggerating one bit when I say that even typing the words 'pulsating soft spot' made me throw up in my mouth a little. Anyway, I immediately called the advice nurse (I call and someone takes a message and the nurse calls back), and while I waited for her to call back I did some Dr. Googling. Apparently, a pulsating soft spot is totally normal and happens all the time. So, when the advice nurse called back I explained what happened and said I was sorry for calling with such a dumb question. She said 'does she have a fever?' I said no. She said, 'so, we're going to want you to go ahead and bring her in. You should come now. Just go ahead and put her in the car and come now. You may have to wait a bit (it was about 5:00 pm) but it will be better for you to wait here then at home.'

I was so freaked out I couldn't even ask what she thought was wrong, I grabbed Norah and we flew down to urgent care (about a 20 minute drive). On the way I called Stephanie who called her neurologist friend (I can't tell you how much I love the fact that she has this friend), and I guess if you have a 'bulging' soft spot with a fever, that's a sign of meningitis. (I have nightmares about the idea of a bulging soft spot, by the way). We get to urgent care, Norah gets checked out and she of course is FINE. The doc said that advice nurses have to follow certain protocols and they will never sign off on anything that has to do with the head. Basically I think they have flow charts and anything having to do with the head points immediately to 'come in immediately and see doctor.' On a side note, once I was talking to one about Norah's florescent green poop and she asked me if Norah had been around any tortoises. Part of the flow chart, I suppose.

Anyway, that was Monday.

Tuesday:

I always put Norah in her high chair while I make her food. I usually put a few toys on her tray, and lately have given her a Joe's O to play with (for you non-Californians, its the same thing as a Cheerio). She isn't all that into eating it, but will play with it and knock it around. Sometimes it makes it into her mouth. I made her some yogurt and applesauce and when I sat down to feed her I noticed the O was gone (so I just assumed she ate it). She proceeded to slurp up her lunch like a champ. As soon as she was done she made the most horrible face and started gagging. She was making noise, so I knew she was breathing, but I immediately thought she must be choking on the O and my reaction was to reach in her mouth and empty it of all its contents. Either from the yogurt itself or my intervention (or a combination of both), she puked up the entire contents of her stomach. Which included a whole lot of yogurt and one perfectly formed Joe's O.

Which leads us to,

Wednesday:

Faithful readers know all about our sleeping struggles, especially with naps. Sometimes I don't have the energy to fight with her about going down (like today), so I let her take her morning nap in our bed. I set up a fort of pillows all around her so she can't roll anywhere. She was napping this morning while I was in the living room having breakfast and BVZ was in the bathroom getting ready for work. Out of nowhere, I heard this loud 'thump' and then an ear-splitting cry. I think the blood in my veins turned to ice and my heart literally stopped. We both flew in there and Norah was laying ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR on her back. The pillows were all still in place, so she obviously had crawled over them. She screamed for about 10 minutes with me holding her tight and then she let us examine her all over. She seemed fine and stopped crying (and started smiling), so I told BVZ to change her diaper while I called urgent care to tell them we were bringing her in. Our doctor didn't have any appointments until noon, but a different doctor could see her at 10.

We left immediately. (*Funny aside, BVZ was really shaken up by what had happened and apparently forgot to fasten one side of her diaper. Of course she peed in the car and so when I got to the doctor and got her out of the seat, I first had to deal with soaked pj's). We got to the doctor at 5 'til 10:00 (this is important later) and got checked in. Now, the doctor we go to is great. It's a big practice, very professional, and we've never waited for more than 10 minutes before being seen. So, imagine my surprise when we were still waiting after 10, then 15, then 30 minutes. I asked what was going on and was told there were no available rooms. I then watched no less than 30 kids come and go and we still weren't called back. After 45 minutes I was told that the 'urgent care' doctor on call only had 2 rooms available to him and both were occupied. I asked if we could see someone else and was told no. After an hour I asked to speak with our pediatrician who I knew was there. They said she was busy. After an hour and 15 minutes I insisted upon speaking to our pediatrician, and was told no. I lost my patience and said if they didn't notify our pediatrician that we needed to see her I was going to go back and find her.

The receptionist finally agreed to get our doctor and within 2 minutes she came running out. As soon as I saw her I immediately burst into tears and could barely get out 'Baby...fell...hardwood floors...we've been....waiting....almost an hour and a half.' It wasn't pretty. Our doc was so nice and immediately did a full exam of Norah (she is totally, 100% fine) and reassured me that it does not make you a bad parent if your baby falls off a bed once, it makes you a bad parent if she falls off the bed twice. She also said that the asshole at the front desk said we were 30 minutes late to our appointment and that's why we had to wait (such a lie!) If I hadn't have been so emotionally drained at that point I might have really let her have it.

Anyway, I need a drink and if you read this whole thing, so do you.

Here are some cute pictures to wrap up the world's longest blog post.