Isn't It Ironic?

We are reluctant co-sleepers. From the day we brought Norah home she refused to sleep anywhere but in our bed, right between us. Most nights she would start off in the middle and then gradually work her way over to me. We were a SIDS nightmare. We tried just about everything--a bassinet, a pack and play, a co-sleeper, and nothing worked. We tried to introduce her to the crib and it was a huge disaster (I spent an afternoon with her sheet stuffed in my shirt so it would smell like me, but she wasn't buying it). I finally just gave into it figuring that she knew what she needed and I wasn't going to deny her the comforts of mom and dad.

This worked for about 3 months and then she started to figure out that her arms and legs actually move. I can't tell you the number of times I have been startled out of sleep by getting punched in the face or kicked in the gut. It seemed as though she was waking up between 6 to 10 times a night and each time felt the need to stick her fingers up my nose or twist my bottom lip. My back and neck ache constantly from the contorted positions I sleep in to make sure she is safe. No one was getting a good night sleep, least of all Norah.

I have been trying to get her to take naps in her crib for the past week or so and have been met with great resistance. But, we were at our wits end. Last night we took the plunge and after her normal bedtime routine of bath, stories, and the boob, she got put down in the crib at 7:45. She tossed around a bit and then drifted off to sleep. She woke up at 8:30 wailing, so BVZ picked her up, gave her a hug, and put her back down. It is now 5:11 am and she hasn't made a peep. I, of course, haven't slept a wink all night. I have tossed and turned and checked to make sure she's still breathing at least 300 times.

The ironic thing? I miss her desperately. The bed seems huge without her.